All across the world there are Gompers. Gompers like Dave. People who are Gompers for no other reason than the fact that they are Dave.
Dave is a Gomper. He needs your help or he just might not make it to next year.
Please read on to find how you can help Gompers like Dave find love.
Nobody likes to talk about Gomperism, it's the dirty thought in the back of your mind that never gets voiced. Some people find it disturbing, maybe even disgusting, but if no one talks about it then who will help? Gompers can't fend for themselves. Most of them can't even tell a decent joke, but who can blame them, cursed as they are with their terrible affliction.
We're building a new world. One where Gompers can live free of the fear of persecution. Where they can run loose on our new island colony, Gomptopia. There they can amuse themselves creating cheap consumer electronics for large supermarket chains. Of course they can't leave once they arrive, but that's for their own protection, from a world that doesn't understand.
If you think you may know a Gomper then, please, do not approach them directly. They are known to bite when startled, and one drop of their saliva in your blood means that you now carry the fateful disease as well. Let us know about suspected Gompers straight away and we can help. We're working on drugs to control the symptoms, so you can visit them on special occasions.
All we're asking for is 2 pounds a month. Your money could buy ammunition for the guards of the colony, drugs to supress the Gomper symptoms or even a hat so that Gompers like Dave here can go out in public. It's just 2 pounds a month. What were you going to do with it anyway? Buy beer and hookers more than likely. You're the kind of selfish bastard that would do that.